Lindas' Place

Greetings

This is my new portal that will have both a public and intranet view. Everyone will be able to access my public view. The intranet will be restricted access only and have information I want to share with selected friends.

Intranet

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Circle of Life - Love, Live, Learn

“I am stronger this time, I can survive”

Items in my Life as it is happening now:

UPDATED - June, 19 2009 - Whoo I Survived the final round of my divorce! Now I have my life back !!!!! :)

The final round has ended and we both walked away feeling like a winner. I let him buy me out of the condo because it would take to much liquid assets to fix it back up. For me the cash was better. He got to keep his CD's but I get my credit cards paid off. I have to pay him support for 4 years but at a reduced rate. I figure in the end after everything is paid paid off I will have a good chunk of change to put into savings.

My New Life - I am a survivor. Despite the stones that have been thrown my way I have learned to pick them up, throw them back and adjust. Just like the day I said "I am stronger this time, I can survive". I have, I will continue to do so and most of all, I will grow stronger every day.

Survival Tools

I Can, I Will, I Did... Survive

You can take away my money, my home and all my personal possessions but you can't take away my friends and the things I found to help me survive.

Websites: I found that reading helped me understand and knowing I wasn't alone helped me feel better.

Help Guide Org

Identifing the signs is the first step. This is a good website that will help you understand what to look for and the reasons why.

Partners in Prevention

What is Mental Abuse? How to Recognize, Cope and Heal.

Wiki Answers

What is Mental Abuse? Abuse and how it effects self-esteem.

Emotional Abuse is Mental

Silent treatments are destructive forces in abusive relationships. Silence is a silent form of anger that says you do not exist. Abusers use this as a form of punishment.

The Process of Brainwashing (Mind Control)

The brainwasher controls the victim's time and physical environment, and works to suppress much of the victim's old behavior. The victim is slowly, or abruptly, isolated from all supportive persons except the brainwasher. The brainwasher creates in the victim a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency.

WebMD - Find a Doctor in your Area

It is very important to get help. Most employers offer assitance programs for their employees for situations like this and can provide you with a list of physicians available. Finding someone to talk to can be the best medicine.

National Foundation for Credit Counseling

The next thing was to get my finances in order. My ex left me with the entire credit card debits and took half my salary in alimony. He started to call my creditors and gave them my work phone number. In-fact he was so vindictive he even gave the creditors my friends number as well. I had to think fast before I got overwhelmed with harassing collection phone calls and have my credit ruined. I was lucky a friend who works as a morgage broker gave me a Credit Debit Counseling Service (New Era) who helped me work with my creditors and reduced the payoffs.

Things to Read

Description

June 2, 2009 – A note on my life as it stands at this moment.

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Help_for_Victims

A better understanding of your situation
and the options available to you will make
it easier for you to take positive action

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MyBrochure

Beyond the Physical
The Emotional Reality of it all

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MyDay

Beyond the Physical
The Emotional Reality of it all

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NDVH_Presskit

One of the programs established under VAWA was the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH). In
1996, NDVH took its first call and began providing life-saving assistance to those experiencing
domestic violence.

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Stronger

I Will Survive Button

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More Tools for Survival

The Financial Hurtle... Survival 101

The next step was to survive financially. When I left with only the cloths on my back my ex said "when I get done with you I will have bleed you dry and you will be living in your car." Dang, how was I going to prove him wrong on that one? he had half my salary, gotten away with charging me for half his attorney fees and left me to pay all the credit cards.

This is what I did:

I talked to my counselor, at each meeting he had done research and gave me ideas on how to make extra money to survive.

Took a loan out from my 401K. Did you know you can borrow money from your 401K and stretch out the payment to over 5 years. The payment comes out of my paycheck automatically and are re-deposited back to my 401K, building it back up again. This helped me buy what I needed to set up my new place and buy the basics to get started again.

Started the service with the Credit Debit Counselors, now I was paying only $350 to a trust account instead of paying thousands directly to the credit card companies.

One of the biggest sacrifices I made was to trim down my extra expenses. I decided to give up the hairstylist and dye my hair myself. This in it self saved me over $100 per month. I gave up manicures and did my nails myself. I started to shop at discount stores like Dollar Tree and the 99 cent store. It was amazing what I could buy at these store, sure it took more time to shop wisely but in the end I could buy a whole weeks of groceries for under 50 dollars. I still shopped are the regular grocery store but only for the items that the other stores did not have.

Finally, with help from my counselor and some internet research I was able to find things that helped me make a little extra money and I even found a website where you could get stuff for free.

One final thing I did discover it really important to keep an eye on your credit report. I dicovered that both my ex and his attorney had gotten a hold of my Soc Sec number and got into my credit report. I noticed a change and some inquiries that I didn't recognize.

What I did was go to http://www.experian.com/ and reported the incident and then put a security alert on my account. I also called all my creditors and notified them not to give out any information to anyone without my approval first. I also flagged my delinquent accounts with a comment stating that the accounts were delinquent because of divorce proceedings. That way any blemishes that remain on my report are flagged with a reason.

Here are some websites I found:

Market Force

Here is a good way to make a little extra money and even go to the movies for FREE. This is one of the only legit companies I found, watch out for others they might be scams and if they ask for you to buy their starter kits, DON'T

ThunderFap.com

This site has totally free stuff, you never have to pay for shipping. It is mainly free samples from companies and promotional items.

Chumash Casino

Some fun stuff I found. A friend told me about this. If you live in this area the local casino has a club you can join and they give you $100 to play with for free. All it costs is the gas to get you there. We just packed a picnic lunch and spend a day playing with the casino's gift.