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Circle of Life - Love, Live, Learn

    I am stronger this time, I can survive”

    Items in my Life as it is happening now:

  • FINAL UPDATE - It has been six months now since the "final round" I am alive and loving life, I am happy and even in the process of buying a new home. I love my new life. It is mine and no one can take it away from me!
  • UPDATED - June, 19 2009 - Whoo I Survived the final round of my divorce! Now I have my life back !!!!! :)
  • The final round has ended and we both walked away feeling like a winner. I let him buy me out of the condo because it would take to much liquid assets to fix it back up. For me the cash was better. He got to keep his CD's but I get my credit cards paid off. I have to pay him support for 4 years but at a reduced rate. I figure in the end after everything is paid paid off I will have a good chunk of change to put into savings.

  • My New Life - I am a survivor. Despite the stones that have been thrown my way I have learned to pick them up, throw them back and adjust. Just like the day I said "I am stronger this time, I can survive". I have, I will continue to do so and most of all, I will grow stronger every day. 

 Survival Tools

I Can, I Will, I Did... Survive

You can take away my money, my home and all my personal possessions but you can't take away my friends and the things I found to help me survive.

Websites: I found that reading helped me understand and knowing I wasn't alone helped me feel better.

 Things to Read

DescriptionFilter
Diary_Notes_June2009.doc
Diary_Notes_June2009Use SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
June 2, 2009 – A note on my life as it stands at this moment.
39 KB
Help_for_Victims.pdf
Help_for_VictimsUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
A better understanding of your situation
and the options available to you will make
it easier for you to take positive action
2323 KB
MyBrochure.doc
MyBrochureUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
Beyond the Physical
The Emotional Reality of it all
116 KB
MyDay.doc
MyDayUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
Beyond the Physical
The Emotional Reality of it all
265 KB
NDVH_Presskit.pdf
NDVH_PresskitUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
One of the programs established under VAWA was the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH). In
1996, NDVH took its first call and began providing life-saving assistance to those experiencing
domestic violence.
386 KB
Stronger.JPG
StrongerUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).
I Will Survive Button
17 KB

 More Tools for Survival

The Financial Hurtle... Survival 101

This is a sample of some of the things I did to survive. It took time to learn to "tighten the belt" but it can be done. The most important thing to remember is that it is not forever. After the dust settles you can "loosen" the belt again. But a lesson learned is that I have a better knowledge of how to manage my money and spend it wisely.

When I left with only the cloths on my back my ex said "when I get done with you I will have bleed you dry and you will be living in your car." Dang, how was I going to prove him wrong on that one? he had half my salary, gotten away with charging me for half his attorney fees and left me to pay all the credit cards.

This is what I did:

  • I talked to my counselor, at each meeting he had done research and gave me ideas on how to make extra money to survive. 
  • Took a loan out from my 401K. Did you know you can borrow money from your 401K and stretch out the payment to over 5 years. The payment comes out of my paycheck automatically and are re-deposited back to my 401K, building it back up again. This helped me buy what I needed to set up my new place and buy the basics to get started again.
  • Started the service with the Credit Debit Counselors, now I was paying only $350 to a trust account instead of paying thousands directly to the credit card companies.
  • One of the biggest sacrifices I made was to trim down my extra expenses. I decided to give up the hairstylist and dye my hair myself. This in it self saved me over $100 per month. I gave up manicures and did my nails myself.  I started to shop at discount stores like Dollar Tree and the 99 cent store. It was amazing what I could buy at these store, sure it took more time to shop wisely but in the end I could buy a whole weeks of groceries for under 50 dollars. I still shopped are the regular grocery store but only for the items that the other stores did not have.
  • Finally, with help from my counselor and some internet research I was able to find things that helped me make a little extra money and I even found a website where you could get stuff for free.
  • One final thing I did discover it really important to keep an eye on your credit report. I dicovered that both my ex and his attorney had gotten a hold of my Soc Sec number and got into my credit report. I noticed a change and some inquiries that I didn't recognize.

What I did was go to http://www.experian.com/ and reported the incident and then put a security alert on my account. I also called all my creditors and notified them not to give out any information to anyone without my approval first. I also flagged my delinquent accounts with a comment stating that the accounts were delinquent because of divorce proceedings. That way any blemishes that remain on my report are flagged with a reason.

Here are some websites I found: